Fear of Evil
by Scribblesinink
Summary: A quick peek inside Cole's head at the end of 'Bride and Gloom'.


Author notes: I wrote this after 'Bride and Gloom'. It's a small piece of what I think might have been going on inside Cole's head after the cameras stopped rolling.  
  
Disclaimer: This story is based on the Spelling Television/WB Television Network series 'Charmed'. All characters belong to their original owners. The story is meant for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement was intended.  
  
  
FEAR OF EVIL  
  
"Goodbye." Her hand rested against his cheek; her fingers were soft and warm. He found that he was speechless, his mind gone blank and without a single word to say. She turned and trudged up the steps.  
  
"I'm not giving up, Phoebe!" he called when he found his voice again. She hesitated for an instant, then the door slammed shut with an ominous bang.  
  
"I'm not going away," Cole muttered at the deserted mausoleum.  
  
Where could he go anyway? He was utterly, wholly alone. He had been alive for more than a century and yet had nothing to show for it. No family, no friends. There was nowhere to go, nobody to turn to. Oh sure, he'd had it made. As a human he lived the good life: his powers had given him anything he desired. Cushy jobs, comfortable houses, expensive cars, willing women. Willing men even, sometimes. As a demon he had been powerful and of high standing, a being that was feared and respected in many realms. Yet he gave it all up and put his life at stake. He was a fugitive who would always be on the run, with a huge bounty on his head. And he had no qualms that the forces of both good and evil would vanquish him, given half the chance.  
  
Why had he relinquished his life?  
  
"I love you. I will always love you, nothing can change that."  
  
His foot struck out in sudden anger at the nearest marble column and connected with a thud. He cursed when it bruised his toes more than it hurt the unrelenting stone. If that was the truth, then why the hell couldn't she give him a chance? Love should be enough, shouldn't it? Why wasn't it? All he asked for was a chance. A chance to prove that he could do it, that he could suppress his demonic half, that he could be good. One chance to make it work, to make *them* work. Yes, they were a witch and a demon. So what? Stranger things had happened. Hell, they might even start a trend that would change the world forever!  
  
Phoebe was all that he had. And it looked like he had lost her. With a troubled sigh and a shake of his head Cole slumped on the hard floor and rested his back against the cold marble of his father's sarcophagus. He closed his eyes and replayed the conversation over and over in his mind.  
  
Did she fear him, was that what it was? "Somewhere inside you will always be evil. You can't ever change that." He had allowed her to see another glimpse of Belthazor. He knew that was a mistake. Although, who could blame him? The pain, mental and physical, when she booted him with such force, had been too much and he had lost control. For an instant only! Yet one second of weakness was all that Belthazor needed. It was fortunate, for both Phoebe and himself, that a heartbeat was how long it lasted. Still in his demonic form, Cole had quickly regained control and managed to give her a final warning.  
  
He let out a short chuckle. For a few moments he had been amused to see her embrace evil. It had offered him a glimpse of how things might be, of the endless possibilities if they combined their powers.   
  
No! Not like that! Evil was not how he wanted her to be, how he wanted *them* to be. He had told her the truth: demons were incapable of love. Their relationship would mean nothing. It would be a mere gratification of lust and he had known enough of that.  
  
"The temptation, it would be too much. I can't take that risk."  
  
He gave a start; the import of her words hit him like a blow that was almost physical. Phoebe wasn't afraid of him, or Belthazor; she was afraid of herself! She dreaded the original sin, feared that he might become the devil to her Eve and lure her to eat of the forbidden fruit. Those few hours of evilness had given her a taste of the world that he had known for more than a hundred years. And she had enjoyed it!  
  
It all made sense to him now. He couldn't blame her for her concern: evil was alluring. His memories were still so fresh: the thrill, the addiction of power, of having the ability to do as you pleased without concern for the consequences. Oh yes, it was quite liberating to throw off the yoke of righteousness.  
  
He rubbed his face and shivered. The discomforts of his human form were something he could do without. He was cold and hungry. He got up and shook himself. Time to go. Although he would keep an ear attuned to this room, no matter where he went. Phoebe would be back. In the depth of his heart he knew it. And this place was where she would come for him.  
  
"I love you too, Phoebe," he murmured as he shimmered.  
  
--END--  
  



End file.
